Thanks for staying with us in the studio here.

Glad to have you.

I was thinking this.

This theme of caregiving comes across so strongl in the second in the second act, and you feeling like you're never able to do enough for all those who are depending on you from your mother to your kids?

Yeah.

How do you handle it?

I learned the three essential things that I didn't see coming, and that was as a caregiver that we are we deal with exhaustion, frustration and isolation.

And it's important to recogniz that because the isolation bit means that we don't talk about it.

I didn't know what I didn't know, and I didn't even know what resources were available to help me.

And so through trial and error, I learned these things.

The other thing is for family caregivers.

Caregivers, taking care of yourself is thought of being selfish.

And it's the hardest thing in the world for caregivers to actually do is to care for themselves.

But it's essential because you're not good to anyone else if you are a wreck yourself.

Yeah, you feel like if you're doing for yourself, it's like, well, I know, you know, I should be doing something fo everybody else needs something.

What am I doing?

Being selfish.

But it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not selfish is survival.

It is.

explain to me a little bit more about the therapist who said, just make the pie.

Yeah.

Well, why was that a solution?

That was a solution?

Because I was so resistant.

I was so caught up in doing all the caregiver things.

And this was makin a pie was not my favorite thing.

It was one of my least favorite things.

And the stress of thinking about doing it was just one more thing that I could not deal with.

But I learned through this person guiding me that, it's about not having regrets and to do things that are really meaningful to to the person in care and then ultimately to me.

And it's it's one thing that I'm so grateful that I actually did.

She probably felt useful.

Like I'm finally able to be useful.

Absolutely.

And it brought her back to a time in her life that she was so productive and so capable.

And that was the gift.

I love that, I love that.