(CAR HORN) VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite celebrities...

It's not worth a tenner.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... You're learning.

VO: ..and a classic car.

This is very exciting, isn't it?

It is.

VO: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

Got a nice ring to it.

VO: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

Come on.

VO: But it's no easy ride.

RICHARD: Brake.

DOMINIC: I can't!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

I hope I don't live to regret this.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

We've definitely got a problem.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

You'd never catch me buying anything like that.

VO: There will be worthy winners... (THEY CHEER) VO: ..and valiant losers.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

VO: Yeah.

TEZ: Look at us.

ESHAAN: Look us, eh?

TEZ: Who'd have thought?

ESHAAN: Who'd have thought!

VO: Look lively, we're in Lancashire... ESHAAN: Why am I trying to turn this one-handed?

I don't think these cars are made for doing this in.

I'm trying to do a one-handed turn!

VO: ..with razor-sharp comedians Eshaan Akbar and Tez Ilyas.

ESHAAN: Do you have an interest in antiques?

That's not something we've ever talked about in our friendship.

TEZ: It's never come up.

ESHAAN: (LAUGHS) Weirdly, given how passionate I am about them, it's really never come up.

VO: Now is the chance to shine, Tez.

My mum used to collect, like, fine bone china.

ESHAAN: Like Royal Doulton and like... None of this means anything to me.

..Aynsley, like things like that.

Sorry, royal fine china had names like Aynsley?

Yeah.

Aynsley... ESHAAN: ..and Royal Doulton.

TEZ: Keith?

ESHAAN: No, Aynsley... TEZ: Liz...Elizabeth.

ESHAAN: Yeah, Frank.

TEZ: Yeah.

VO: Welcome to the world of antiques, chaps.

Eshaan Akbar's star is on the ascendant as the ex-banker turned stand-up comedian wows from gigs at the Edinburgh Festival to sets on Live at the Apollo.

There's no stopping Eshaan as he conquers the comedy circuit where he met good friend Tez Ilyas, a celebrated satirical giant of British comedy.

He first hit the scene over a decade ago.

Tez continues his sell-out tours while juggling TV and radio appearances.

TEZ: But, yes... ESHAAN: I need to change gear.

TEZ: I assume you're always working.

ESHAAN: Hold on.

There we go.

TEZ: Oh, yeah.

Oh that's nice.

ESHAAN: That was smooth.

TEZ: Smoother.

Smoother.

VO: They are in the powerful 1964 Daimler Dart.

Made before a time when seat belts were mandatory.

I rarely get to be a passenger princess.

Yeah, me too.

And I like it.

I like driving.

Can I do an impression of my wife when I'm driving?

Yeah, go on.

So I'm driving and I'm being my wife now.

OK, OK. VO: Blimey.

So, like I was saying, there must have been antiques at this place that I got at married last year.

ESHAAN: I will ask you, though.

What I was very interested in... TEZ: Yeah, go on.

Yeah?

..is you had llamas at this wedding.

Alpacas.

ESHAAN: Oh, alpacas.

TEZ: Technically.

VO: Right.

So you had alpacas at the wedding?

Yeah.

Now, I enjoyed seeing them.

Oh, they were very pretty.

ESHAAN: Very pretty.

TEZ: Top lads, actually.

ESHAAN: Top lads.

TEZ: Yeah.

ESHAAN: But one of them... TEZ: Yeah.

ESHAAN: I don't know what beef this alpaca had with me.

TEZ: Yeah.

ESHAAN: It spat at me.

TEZ: Did it?

ESHAAN: Yeah.

VO: Don't worry.

No alpacas on this trip, Eshaan.

Oh, that was smooth.

Ooh.

ESHAAN: Oh, 'allo.

Someone can drive a classic car now, eh?

VO: All roads point to an auction up north in the county of Midlothian.

But first we blast off in Lancashire, in the village of Bretherton.

VO: The adventure begins here at The Old Corn Mill.

On the go since 1999, this biz is stacked with antique delights, including our experts, the dandy of the antiques gang, auctioneer and Derby boy, Charles Hanson.

And the Scottish girl with a flair for jewels, Roo Irvine.

CHARLES: You're not hungry, are you?

Having my breakfast.

ROO: I think you might be after Tez and Eshaan's job, Charles.

Well, you know, I quite like comedy.

CHARLES: Is that funny to you?

You're slapstick comedy.

CHARLES: You think I am?

ROO: Yeah.

ROO: I mean, they're amazing comedians, but what do they know about antiques?

VO: We'll soon find out.

Tez with you, local lad, versus the comedy duo of Hanson and Eshaan.

ROO: Absolutely.

CHARLES: I'm up for that.

And of course, we're gonna win.

So good luck.

Yeah, good luck.

VO: Meanwhile, outside, our comedy virtuosos have arrived.

TEZ: This has been terrifying.

ESHAAN: (LAUGHS) TEZ: I'm enjoying this so much.

VO: I can tell you this is gonna be a riot of fun.

Stand by.

TEZ: This old record player.

And the record on the thing is this old Hindustani record.

I can't read Hindi so I don't quite know what it says.

But it's from the film Shahjehan.

It's probably not a vintage, but it's interesting.

VO: Ooh, lovely.

Back to business, please.

I feel like this chair is quite powerful, so I might take this chair for the negotiation and be like, "What are you saying?

"How much?

100.

I've got 50.

Got 50."

And he'll be like, "Fine, we'll do it."

VO: Armed with 400 big ones each, let's find our very professional antiques gurus.

ESHAAN: Charles?

CHARLES: How are we?

CHARLES: Oh, good man.

It is the man himself.

How are you?

Good to see you.

Pleased you got dressed up for the occasion.

ESHAAN: Yeah, I did, yeah.

CHARLES: Get outta here!

ESHAAN: It's a classic tuk-tuk from the 1920s.

VO: Very nice it is, too.

CHARLES: So, look in this skip.

It's breathing with potential finds.

What can you see?

ESHAAN: I can see some vases.

CHARLES: Keep looking, you're warming up.

There's a little blue and white thing.

Exactly.

I'm gonna get it.

What, are you gonna climb in?

CHARLES: Yeah.

VO: Here we go.

ESHAAN: This is a health and safety hazard.

CHARLES: No, it's OK, hold tight.

It does smell in here, by the way.

I think you should just stay there.

ESHAAN: You're nothing if not determined.

VO: You've got him in one, Eshaan.

CHARLES: There's a few flies and spiders.

Look.

But actually, look at that.

That... Yeah, it looks in good nick, to be fair.

Yeah, that's a shame.

That's a shame.

A little chip.

CHARLES: (GROANS) ESHAAN: But this... Are you gonna be OK?

I'm alright, yeah I'm OK. ESHAAN: And your lovely white... CHARLES: That's OK.

I'm OK.

But I would not have imagined finding something like this in a skip.

CHARLES: Basically, what you've got there, I think, is an early 20th century pottery jug, around 1910.

So you're talking Edward VII.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: You're talking the birth of the new century.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

And it just shows what you can find in a skip.

I mean, that's the shame.

It's got a chip on the rim there.

I mean, it's a skip find.

ESHAAN: It's a find.

Literally, I mean, it's been dumped, so maybe it'll cost us nothing.

ESHAAN: And it comes with a free spider as well.

VO: Yeah.

Before one goes for a skip dive, always good to ask for permission.

Now let's find Tez.

TEZ: I'm ready for this.

ROO: Are you ready?

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you as well.

This is not usually where you'd find me.

It's not shiny or sparkly enough for my liking.

Yeah.

It's all a bit Back To The Future.

ROO: Yeah.

You could get in here and tinker and create a bit of a time machine.

The thing is, if I lose to Eshaan, we will then have to build a time machine to then come back and choose different antiques to beat him.

Between your expertise and my... ROO: Money.

..£400...and hopefully between, between that, hopefully, we win.

VO: Loving the confidence.

Let's get rummaging.

ROO: What's this?

TEZ: Imagine taking a Zoom meeting on that.

It's a laptop size thing that, it's future proofed.

ROO: And it's got a slope as well.

TEZ: Yeah, very smart Victorians.

What I love that it's a combination of our generation, very 21st century, talking about how the laptop would sit nicely on a 150 year old desk.

Right.

They've made the space for it.

That is a laptop space.

They knew, they saw into the future.

Exactly.

Alright.

Well, let's keep browsing, that's definitely one of interest.

It's nice, that.

VO: Onwards we go.

Right.

Are our new chums away from that skip yet?

ESHAAN: Yeah.

This looks cool.

This clock.

CHARLES: So why does it appeal to you?

ESHAAN: I feel like clocks, they're...they're timeless.

VO: (LAUGHS) Good one, Eshaan.

CHARLES: Now look at the clock and look at me.

Look at the clock.

Look at me.

Give me a date.

When it was manufactured.

ESHAAN: I reckon it's '20s.

CHARLES: Spot on.

ESHAAN: Is it?

CHARLES: Honestly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would say, look at the dial.

It's got that American almost... Yeah.

..skyscraper, jazz age.

Can I just say when I look at you, I don't think of an American skyscraper or jazz.

CHARLES: What do you think of?

I think of classic, charming antiques dealer from the...1980s?

CHARLES: Really?

ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: I'm quite retro.

ESHAAN: '70s.

Oh, my God.

Quite retro.

I'm a throwback.

You're a piece of work.

VO: What age do you think young Chaz is, eh?

Grandmother clocks, a petite version of her hubby, the grandfather, appeared in the 18th century, but widespread production really took off in the '20s and '30s.

You know, people now don't really want these big, long case clocks, but this is quite neat.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: It's quite small.

It's quite sympathetic to a smaller home or an apartment.

(CLOCK DINGS) Oh!

Oh, that's nice.

ESHAAN: That's a bop.

CHARLES: That's right.

ESHAAN: I like it.

Yeah.

CHARLES: I like it as well.

Now, this could be like a... You know, this could be like, as you say, the party sauce.

VO: Party sauce, indeed.

CHARLES: But you know what?

It's got a look.

I think if you gave it a dust down, if we gave a bit of a wipe down and gave it some love, and I reckon the dealer might say "have it for a tenner".

VO: You do know you've got £400, don't you?

You know, if I sort of gave a little tune now and said I'll lead you into a rap about this clock.

Oh, no.

Ready, shall we try it?

Erm...wait, wait, OK, I need a... OK.

I need a moment because my rapping is not very good.

Let me give you the tune to come in.

Ready?

Here we go.

(CLOCK DINGS) (RAPS) This is a grandmother clock, it's the best of the flock, I'm gonna find a tenner in the back of my sock.

Yes!

Bravo.

I like it.

ESHAAN: Thank you.

CHARLES: I like it.

On a serious note, how do you, like, end a rap?

Well, I guess you've got to give it a... That... Or one of those... VO: You got it, Chaz, freestyling to the max.

VO: (LAUGHS) You're a piece of work.

CHARLES: I think it is definitely worth an inquiry with a deal, a mental note, it... Fine.

..it could be to auction.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

OK, cool.

CHARLES: I like your style.

Thank you for embarrassing me.

It's a pleasure.

VO: While they explore the sheds further, Tez and Roo have found their way outside too.

Ooh.

What do you think of them?

TEZ: What am I looking at?

ROO: These are old apothecary bottles, so we call them now... Ah, like medicine!

ROO: Yeah, exactly.

TEZ: Yeah, yeah.

So now we see them as modern pharmacies, very brightly lit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But back in the days of sort of the Victorian era, the apothecaries were beautiful.

They had beautiful lighting in there.

Mm.

They'd all the tinctures and medicines in these jars and there was a bit of a romanticism behind them.

But the thing is, these are real interior decorator's pieces.

The ones that I'm spotting...are these.

ROO: Now the green, the green's a bit of a warning.

When you see green glass, often it would be poison.

VO: From the 16th century, the apothecary started to resemble the modern idea of a pharmacy.

Glass bottles were favored - less reactive than ceramics - and colored glass protected the contents from light.

ROO: Do you like them?

What do you think?

TEZ: No, I like it a lot, and also I've got a degree in biochemistry.

ROO: Do you?

TEZ: Yeah.

TEZ: I've got a bachelor's in biochemistry because, you know, I'm very smart.

So, yeah, I like that.

That appeals to me and my once-burgeoning career.

I never went into it.

Do you wish you did?

Not at all.

No?

But still, as a sentimental thing, it's quite cool.

Well, in a way... VO: I like them and they're unpriced.

So we like these enough to find out the price?

I think so.

They're quite kooky, quite quirky.

Yeah, I'm all for it.

VO: There's a literal ocean of antiques goodies everywhere.

Dare we find Eshaan and Chaz?

CHARLES: Do you know, I get the feeling you're a bling guy.

ESHAAN: You're right.

CHARLES: Look.

ESHAAN: Oh, that's really cool.

I love this.

CHARLES: Look at that.

ESHAAN: This is so fun.

You know, it's almost overgrown, almost been hidden by what's coming through the shed.

CHARLES: Let me pull it out for you.

Give me a hand.

VO: Blimey.

This is a major operation.

CHARLES: I mean... Do you know?

I just think it's... VO: There's a growth on your head, Charles.

Man, I'm covered.

ESHAAN: What is it, just a big vase?

Yeah, that obviously is just a faux... Is it a hat?

Try it on for a hat.

There you go.

CHARLES: You balance it well.

Suits you, actually.

Everything suits me, I'm a very stylish man.

VO: Super stylish.

CHARLES: It's a really decorative jardiniere.

Have a bouquet of flowers in.

What age would it be?

I think could be 1980s.

OK. Yeah, I was gonna say the same.

CHARLES: I like it.

ESHAAN: I like it a lot.

There's no price.

I think... What would you pay for it?

ESHAAN: At auction?

CHARLES: Yeah.

If it was all cleaned up?

Yeah.

80 quid?

I think so.

If it came into my saleroom, I'd guide probably 100 to 150.

And if it's anything less than that... Yeah.

..I would say it's a definite maybe.

ESHAAN: They should put the World Cup on this.

CHARLES: Exactly.

Or the glitterball.

This is the Strictly World Cup Stand.

ESHAAN: This is the World Cup.

CHARLES: They think it's all over.

Yeah.

This one.

You just won it.

CHARLES: Yes!

ESHAAN: Yeah!

(CHANTING) Championes.

Championes!

Ole, ole, ole!

CHARLES: Champion... ESHAAN: OK. VO: Watch out.

You'll do yourself a mischief.

Let's leave them to play.

TEZ: Hm... Ooh, I like this.

What is it?

Oh, it's a table?

ROO: Yeah.

TEZ: What?

It's like a wooden Transformer.

ROO: Absolutely.

So this is what you call metamorphic furniture.

Now, this is a monk's chair, so it's usually rectangular chairs from, like, usually the 17th century.

Oh, wow.

That old?

Well, this one... Like 1650 or summat?

Well, they can be, but I don't think this one is.

Wow.

OK.

But it would be found in monasteries.

So obviously, that's where the monks would sit and rest and they could use it as a table.

VO: This metamorphic monk's bench was so useful it would not only be found in monasteries and churches, it was even found in barber shops.

When you're using it as a table, what are you sitting on?

Eh?

ROO: (LAUGHS) But I would say this is solid oak and the body of it probably is, I would say 19th century, maybe early 1800s.

It's definitely got some real age to it, probably about 200, 250 years old.

TEZ: Oh, wow.

ROO: But it's in fantastic condition, the way that's moving.

It hasn't seized up.

VO: Price, please.

ROO: £175.

It's saying it's the 18th century.

Probably is the cusp.

But I don't know, I think if you could get that near £100.

ROO: Do you like it?

TEZ: I do like it, actually.

ROO: What do you like about it?

Er, I like that it's a Transformer.

Right.

Right.

You're such a lad.

I am.

Erm, no, I think it's quite cool.

I think I like the idea of a monk sitting in this and then getting up and doing that and using it for something else.

It's multipurpose.

Yeah.

You know, they're doing more with less.

I like that about it.

VO: Me too.

Interesting thing.

And not only that, this is very green.

It's environmentally friendly.

TEZ: Definitely.

It's not been shipped from around the world.

It's not made in a factory.

This was made by someone's hands hundreds of years ago.

So actually buying antiques is really the greenest way to furnish your home.

Wow.

I wish I knew that before I furnished my home.

VO: OK. Let's chat with dealer Aiden.

Kicking off with the unpriced box of apothecary bottles.

My rock-bottom would have to be a oner.

Because individually they fetch a lot more than that.

Could it squeeze below 100?

Shine on.

Go on.

£90.

ROO: Thank you.

AIDEN: You're welcome.

That's a fair price.

Happy with that.

ROO: Got the monk's chair, which is at 175.

That'll have to be what, one and a quarter?

What are you thinking, Tez?

More like a oner, maybe even 95.

At 110, then, probably the best on that.

Go for the chair, the Transformer chair and the apothecary bottles.

OK. £200?

Yeah.

We will shake your hand.

And can I say thank you.

Eh, you're welcome.

ROO: You've been really, really, really kind and fair with us.

AIDEN: Thank you very much.

VO: Thanks so much, Aiden.

That breaks down to 90 for the box of apothecary bottles and 110 for the lovely monk's bench, leaving Tez with 200 smackers.

While they skedaddle, what about the Cheeky Boys?

CHARLES: Where are you?

Charles, just over here.

Follow the voice.

CHARLES: Hello.

Hello.

ESHAAN: Hello.

This is nice.

Do you know... That's quite a throwback.

CHARLES: Why did you like it?

ESHAAN: I quite like that it seems quite sleek.

CHARLES: Yeah, it is sleek.

ESHAAN: I like that this looks like it's in good condition.

CHARLES: Yeah.

ESHAAN: And I like that...

I actually quite like the curvature of the table, like this thing.

Do you know...

I mean, I never saw this.

And actually, the reason I like it is you've got like the old Victorian style mahogany maple burr timbers to form that traditional looking top, which is 1860 Victorian.

Yeah.

CHARLES: But then I go down to your base.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: And it's like chrome, '70s, looks sleek.

Yeah.

And it just sits really well and it's functional.

CHARLES: I mean, look at the drawer handle.

You pull that and that drawer is so, just, yeah, cool.

I want to find something which is almost antique with a K on the end, which kicks.

Rather than antique Q-U-E... ESHAAN: Yeah.

Yeah.

CHARLES: ..antique with a K. Kick it out with you.

Kick it in.

That's right.

That's what I am.

And we come together.

I'm an antique with a K. And we... That's pretty good, actually.

CHARLES: I'm clicking now.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

VO: Cor blimey!

(LAUGHS) I don't think there's a price on it, so I'm thinking I might be able to negotiate.

CHARLES: What's your favorite chess piece?

ESHAAN: A bishop.

CHARLES: Why a bishop?

ESHAAN: Because it moves diagonally.

I think it's quite an unorthodox way of moving.

What's yours?

CHARLES: Pawn.

ESHAAN: Why?

One step forward.

ESHAAN: OK. CHARLES: One step back.

ESHAAN: You take a step forward.

CHARLES: OK. And I'll move diagonally.

OK. See you shortly.

VO: What a pair, eh?

We also have the skip find pottery jug, the grandmother clock and the mirrored jardiniere.

All unpriced.

Brace yourself, Aiden.

Poor chap.

You had a good rummage?

Yes.

What a lovely, lovely shop you've got here.

Well, we do try.

We do try.

ESHAAN: Lots of very beautiful pieces.

And I hadn't expected to see such a handsome proprietor, to be honest.

VO: The charm offensive is at full throttle.

Pass the sick bag.

Do we have your permission that we can retain the blue and white jug we found in the skip?

Yes.

I'd rather you have it than it go to the skip.

Can we just take that?

That's great.

Yes!

VO: What about the grandmother clock?

I was just going to say a throwaway comment.

£10.

20 quid.

Can we go 15?

Gordon Bennett!

ESHAAN: Let's go 15 - in between.

He said 10.

You said 20.

I'm 15.

Go on, then.

Yeah, go on, handshake.

Shake his hand.

Sold.

Yeah.

There we go.

VO: The big mirrored jardiniere?

What's the absolute death?

I mean, would you take a... What, a oner?

I was thinking...£60.

80 quid.

Let's call it 70.

You said 60.

You said 80.

I'll say 70.

75.

72.

AIDEN: Go on, then.

ESHAAN: 72, fine.

Amazing.

VO: Just one more to go.

The games table.

£70.

75.

72 - in between.

You like your two, don't you?

ESHAAN: 72.

One two to you.

One two.

Yeah.

Come on.

AIDEN: One three.

Go on.

CHARLES: Go mad.

ESHAAN: Fine.

Let's go.

CHARLES: That's great.

ESHAAN: That's great.

I'm happy with that.

VO: A grand total of £159, breaking down to 15 for the grandmother clock, 72 for the mirrored jardiniere, 72 for the games table.

And not forgetting that freebie skip find.

We're like the thorns in the rose, aren't we?

VO: Eshaan now has £241 remaining.

(ENGINE RUMBLES) VO: Meanwhile, new besties Tez and Roo are in the town of Darwen... ..where in 1931, local mill workers greeted the 20th century's most famous apostle of peace, Mahatma Gandhi.

ROO: We're working our way through the buys.

TEZ: Yes, this is close to home.

So... You've gone past the door.

Oh, is it here?

TEZ: Yes, there.

ROO: (LAUGHS) Good thing I've got you around, eh?

Yeah.

VO: Indeed.

Let's get in and get rootling.

Darwen Salerooms and Antique Centre, as the name suggests, is also a busy auction house.

Lots of fresh stock coming and going.

Tez and Roo have £200 to play with.

TEZ: There's some, like, war medals here from World War I, the Great War.

Cuz a lot of people from this area obviously went to fight in the Great War and sadly didn't come back.

It's interesting to me because my family wasn't even in this country then, 110 years ago, and there's someone here who's, like, sacrificed their life for their country.

It just feels a bit surreal.

VO: Antiques stir such powerful emotions within us, Tez.

Keep having a look while we catch up with Eshaan and Charles.

CHARLES: I like comedy, but your comedy and life is quite different, isn't it, to mine?

Well, in that sense...

I mean...

I mean, my comedy is different to yours in that I'm funny.

Yeah.

Thanks.

VO: Ha ha!

Best stick to the day job.

VO: Our new best friends forever have made it to the Lancashire village of Eccleston, once a hive of 19th century textile production.

Standing as a monument to this is Bygone Times, a former mill that has since transformed into a superstore of antiques.

Right.

Now, this is where we find the antique.

Yes, we're going to go more than 100 years old.

Correct.

ESHAAN: And it's got to look antique-y.

Correct.

And hopefully big ticket.

CHARLES: You want to go pre-George the... ESHAAN: Third?

CHARLES: Fifth.

ESHAAN: Fifth.

Fifth.

Get inside.

ESHAAN: Right, OK. CHARLES: Make it a lucky find.

ESHAAN: Let's do this.

VO: That's the exit.

Ha!

Never mind.

With over 500 stalls cramming this vast mega-city with antiques aplenty, let's see what the fellas can find with their remaining £241.

ESHAAN: I haven't been to a place like this before.

It's quite overwhelming.

I mean, like I said, you could spend hours in here.

It helps if you know what you're looking for.

Like, what's this for?

You know?

This... You use it to prize things open?

Use it to pick up sausages off a barbecue?

VO: It's actually used at the fireplace for coals.

Now, what's Charles found?

CHARLES: Basically what it is, if you were an infant back in the old days... Yeah.

..from a distant, from a distinguished home... Yeah.

CHARLES: ..or a home of value to have fed your little baby, you may have used a pap boat.

ESHAAN: Right.

And pap was basically a source of nutrition, from rice to milk to water... ESHAAN: Right.

..which would feed the baby.

If you're a little baby... You alright, baby?

You know.

That's actually quite comfortable.

CHARLES: Yeah.

You can see it's circa 1804.

ESHAAN: OK. CHARLES: So this was alive when Nelson was about to be killed a year later... All the secrets of... ..at the battle of...?

Waterloo.

CHARLES: Trafalgar.

ESHAAN: Trafalgar.

Trafalgar.

Look me, Trafalgar.

VO: As the history lesson continues, let's zip back to Darwen.

TEZ: Look at this.

What I like about this is it's tin plate.

ROO: Hornby series, Meccano Ltd, Liverpool.

Oh, wow.

This is really sweet.

I'm just gonna... You be the one that puts it together.

ROO: Now, if this works... Wind-up tin vintage railway engine and carriages, 85.

I think that's really sweet.

Yeah.

Ooh.

(TOY WHIRS) It's going like the clappers.

VO: Hornby have been around since 1920, and the enduring childhood nostalgia of model railways still evokes the same magic as it did nearly a century ago.

Just look at Tez.

Oh, wow.

Look at that.

TEZ: (GASPS) ROO: Oh, my goodness.

Oh, I love that.

TEZ: Yeah.

No, let's have this.

Let's get this.

ROO: You like it?

TEZ: Yeah.

Does it come... Is this part of it as well?

I think so.

It says...vintage railway engine and carriages.

Well, yes, so they must do, there's carriages on this.

Yeah.

ROO: I think that's adorable.

TEZ: Right, let's get this.

You know what?

It's such a nostalgic buy.

VO: That's a definite for Tez.

How about our boys in Eccleston, then?

Charles?

Charles, I found something.

CHARLES: Eh?

ESHAAN: Look.

CHARLES: Where was that?

That was just hidden over there.

CHARLES: Looking at the contraption of this sort of ironwork, metal work here, I think it would date to about 1900 and hopefully it's what you call a metamorphic highchair.

So obviously now in your Victorian dining table... ESHAAN: Yes.

VO: Show us how it works, Chaz.

That's how you'd sit at the table.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: Upright.

And hopefully if you were then squawking after dinner, what you, or lunch, what you might then do is pull... CHARLES: Yeah.

Just there, push that lever.

Ready?

ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: And that then goes down like so.

ESHAAN: Oh, wow.

It becomes a rocking chair.

Wow, that is cool.

CHARLES: So you rock the baby to sleep after a big dinner circa 1900 and baby will then... VO: Vomit?

(LAUGHS) But it's also kind of cool.

I quite like it.

I've never seen anything like it before.

VO: Price, please.

ESHAAN: It's 69 quid.

I reckon we can get that lower.

CHARLES: Made in beech and oak.

Oak...

It says here it's Edwardian metamorphic.

So...Edward VII died in what year?

Oh, for goodness' sake.

CHARLES: Give me a year.

ESHAAN: Um...

I'll give you a clue.

Two years before Titanic sank.

18 something.

1910.

That's what I thought.

Yeah, that's right.

VO: Just humor him, Eshaan.

He's a show-off, you know?

So 1910 is the end of the Edwardian period.

Right.

You hit antique.

Gimme a high five.

10, 10 out of 10.

Come on!

You've hit antique.

VO: OK, so this knocks the little pap boat from earlier out of the water.

I think we go, try and get this down to 50 quid.

CHARLES: OK.

Happy with that?

ESHAAN: Yes?

CHARLES: Happy.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

Let's do it.

CHARLES: Let's do it.

Let's go find the dealer, OK?

VO: Brace yourself, Jackie.

Jackie, how are you doing?

Not too bad.

I'm hoping in a minute my wingman is going to wheel in... CHARLES: Hear him?

JACKIE: He's here.

ESHAAN: I'm here.

CHARLES: (LAUGHS) So...

I bring goodies.

This says 69.

ESHAAN: And I was hoping we could do something a bit better than that.

Let you have it at 50, £50.

Fantastic.

Shake hands.

Fantastic.

ESHAAN: Absolutely fantastic.

Thank you so much indeed.

You're very welcome.

ESHAAN: That's amazing.

VO: Thank you very much, Jackie.

Second metamorphic buy of the day.

You now have £191.

We've got four really good things.

Yeah.

And this is the almost icing on the cake.

But we've got the number one best thing from today.

OK.

Number one, best thing today.

I know what it is.

The jug.

ESHAAN: Is that what you think?

CHARLES: Yeah.

Shall I tell you what I think the best thing is?

CHARLES: Go on.

ESHAAN: Our friendship.

Aw, jeez.

It's been a great day.

VO: I'm welling up here.

See you.

See ya.

CHARLES: Oh, mate, you can't say that.

VO: I know, Jackie.

They're so smushy.

Let's skedaddle.

CHARLES: Right out.

Yes, yes!

VO: How goes it in Darwen?

Tez.

Yeah?

Do you know who that man is?

Er...

I'm sure it's on the tag but I won't read that.

I reckon that is... F Scott Fitzgerald.

No.

No?

ROO: Rabbie Burns.

TEZ: Oh, as in Burns Night?

ROO: Yes.

As in our national poet.

ROO: His most famous poem is Tam O'Shanter, which all of us Scottish kids grew up learning off by heart.

Right.

ROO: Have you ever read it?

TEZ: No.

ROO: Tez, you need to read Tam O'Shanter because you will get completely lost in it.

VO: The writing of Rabbie Burns has endured for almost 250 years.

He penned hundreds of poems and songs from the age of 15 until his death, aged 37.

So this has genuine age.

ROO: It's a beautiful Victorian print, it's a good size and it's £40, but the only downside is the condition.

Because of the age, it's obviously been stored somewhere damp, so it's got some foxing around the edge.

ROO: Do you like it?

TEZ: I do like it, actually.

TEZ: Looking quite wistfully into the distance.

Could that be you 250 years ago?

Contemplating life?

Yeah.

I mean, he's dressed pretty smartly, innit?

I wouldn't mind borrowing those threads.

VO: Sandra is the lady in command here.

Let's talk dosh, starting with the Hornby train set for 85.

If you could, 65 would be amazing.

Probably do 70.

70.

OK. And the Rabbie Burns print is 40.

SANDRA: Mm-hm.

Would you do both for 100?

Yes.

Absolutely.

That was easy, wasn't it?

TEZ: Thank you very much.

SANDRA: You're welcome.

ROO: Thank you so much.

I should give you that.

Oh!

Oh, yeah.

Before we walked off.

TEZ: There you go.

VO: You're very kind, Sandra.

That breaks down to 70 for the train set and 30 for the Rabbie Burns print.

Roo and Tez now have £100 left.

ROO: Right.

TEZ: Right.

OK. Mate, you've got no sense of direction, obviously it's this way.

ROO: (LAUGHS) VO: That's it.

The shopping is now done and dusted for today and the fellas are reunited.

Oh, man.

Are you confident with what you bought today?

No.

All I want is to beat you.

That is 100% all I'm in this for... ESHAAN: Listen, I'm here to win.

TEZ: ..is to win.

I'm here for flair.

TEZ: Yeah.

ESHAAN: Excitement.

Right.

And next year, for you and I to be the experts.

VO: Nighty night.

(ENGINE RUMBLES) TEZ: I'm not gonna lie, you made this look more difficult than it is.

Oh, my God.

You've not had to do anything.

This is a breeze, look at me.

One hand, one hand, mate.

TEZ: Just one hand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just cazh.

VO: Looking good, fellas.

ESHAAN: Yesterday, Charlie - Chazza, as I call him... Yeah.

Or Chaz Dog.

He kept asking me trivia questions on the spot, and I knew nothing about anything.

Like what?

For example?

He said, he said to me at one point, "Oh, this would have been made a few years before the Titanic sunk.

When was that?"

I said 18 something.

VO: Hanson's a bit of a walking encyclopedia.

I also learned that actually what I consider antique or vintage is different from, say, what Charles did, because Charles is an expert, but also he's been dealing in antiques for many years, whereas now...

Apparently since he was 13.

Since he was 13?

What a square.

What a square.

VO: Oh, poor Chaz.

How do you feel about the stuff that you bought?

Do you think you've got a good chance?

I think so.

But then it's so difficult to know.

ESHAAN: Whereas I just picked sure-fire winners.

TEZ: Have you?

Yeah, yeah.

No, absolute bangers.

VO: Tez and Roo have been having a whiz of a time, spending 300 smackers on four lots.

It's quirky, it's cool.

Yeah, I'm all for it.

VO: Eshaan and Charles... (CHANTING) Ole, ole, ole!

VO: ..bought four lots, plus the skip find freebie jug, spending a thrifty £209.

Come on, let's go and look at yesterday's treasures.

Well, well done on your haul.

I mean, I want to say the same, but I don't know what I'm looking at.

Truly, truly terrible taste.

I'll tell you what you're looking at.

TEZ: What am I looking at?

ESHAAN: Profit.

What is that thing there?

Is that for a mouse to look at its reflection?

What is that?

A mouse?

How big is this mouse?

His little, little mirrors.

ESHAAN: But there's lots of them.

Yeah.

They can stand on each other's shoulders.

ESHAAN: Yeah?

Look, you've got what looks like a toilet seat.

TEZ: Yeah, it looks like one, but it isn't.

OK. TEZ: What it is, is a Transformer.

This chair turns into a table, mate.

All of that together.

Do you know what there aren't many of these days?

TEZ: Confident people?

ESHAAN: Monks.

Do you know what there are lots of these days?

TEZ: Babies.

ESHAAN: Yes.

TEZ: Who go in rocking chairs?

ESHAAN: Yes.

TEZ: That baby's gonna slide off that.

There's no seat belt on it.

ESHAAN: Do you know what there are?

That's a hazard, that.

I understand what you're trying to do here.

TEZ: Right.

You're trying to get into my head, but I can see it in your face.

You're worried.

There's nothing... ESHAAN: You're worried because you've got these empty bottles.

TEZ: Why not take your glasses off?

TEZ: Let me see your eyes.

ESHAAN: OK. TEZ: The fear.

Oh, that's fear there.

Yeah?

What are you holding, actually?

What is that?

This is a grandmother clock.

TEZ: What is it?

ESHAAN: It's a clock.

TEZ: Right.

For grandmas?

No, it's a clock that tells the time.

It's a smaller version of a grandfather clock.

Oh, grandfather!

Grandmother.

OK, I get it now.

Is it nice?

ESHAAN: Beautiful, look at it, art deco.

I want to wish you luck, but actually, through the course of this conversation, I've decided I don't.

I don't wish you any goodwill.

I genuinely wish you so much luck cuz you're gonna need it.

ESHAAN: Really?

TEZ: Yeah.

Genuinely.

ESHAAN: That's very kind of you.

VO: They're both in the biz to win, aren't they?

Let's hit the road.

I'm quite confident that by hook or by crook, I'm gonna win this.

Do you actually think you're gonna beat me?

Yeah, 100%.

VO: Love it.

VO: Before he gets back to shopping, Tez has met up with Roo in the sparkling entertainment capital of the north - Blackpool.

A journey of pure imagination awaits as we delve into the mesmerizing wonderland known as the world-famous Blackpool Illuminations.

It all began in September 1879, when Blackpool became one of the first to have electric street lighting.

Tez and Roo have a special invitation to go behind the scenes, where a small team work year round to create luminary wonders of epic proportions.

They're meeting with Lightworks Depot manager, Richard Williams.

Richard, what is this bad boy?

Well, this is part of a sea creature that's part of the illuminations.

There's actually another three stories that goes on here.

RICHARD: It's about 10 meters tall and we have a saying in Blackpool - it's "go big or go home".

I had no idea they were made locally.

No one has.

They all think that we buy them in.

We actually manufacture everything here in Blackpool.

Has that always been the case?

RICHARD: Always been the case.

TEZ: Wow.

VO: Over the six-mile stretch of promenade, there are 500 designs and over a million lamps.

But just how did it all begin?

What was it like back in 1879?

How big were the illuminations?

There was eight arc lamps on the promenade and they were powered by a generator.

ROO: Right.

RICHARD: Believe it or not.

And it was before the time everyone really had electricity in their houses and it was really popular.

They called it artificial sunshine.

VO: People were in awe with this never-before-seen marvel.

Homes were still lit by flickering candle and Thomas Edison didn't receive the patent for his lightbulb until 1880.

We started off with the eight arc lamps, obviously.

We then moved to 10,000 and that was for the royal visit, for Princess Louise.

TEZ: What?

ROO: Wow.

That's progress.

VO: The light show for Queen Victoria's daughter in 1912 was such a success that the commercial potential was grabbed by the council, making it an annual fixture enduring ever since.

Can we go in and have a look?

Of course we can, just for you.

ROO: Yes!

VO: Let's leave them to nosey.

ESHAAN: Amazing, isn't it?

VO: Meanwhile, Eshaan and Charles are deep inside the heart of the design workshop.

CHARLES: Hi, Philip.

VO: Creative whiz Philip Holmes has paint brushes at the ready.

I mean, this looks absolutely amazing.

What is it?

So this is a new tableau for this year by Canadian artist Bruce Alfred, who designs these amazing creatures generally.

So we're just finishing the very, very last piece of these two orca whales that will go on the bottom of the new tableau.

VO: Native Canadian Bruce Alfred is a Kwakwaka'wakw artist and is the first international artist to contribute to the illuminations.

Would you like to...?

CHARLES: We'll give you a hand.

I'm happy to give it a go.

PHIL: You can't go wrong with black.

CHARLES: Thank you, Phil.

PHIL: You're welcome.

Where is it we need to paint?

All the black.

Just the black bits?

From here to there.

So don't touch the white?

Don't touch the white.

ESHAAN: OK. CHARLES: That's a nice stroke.

How long has this taken to paint like this?

PHIL: So the whole process can take 12 months.

VO: The team here work up to 18 months in advance.

The mighty tableaux, like the one we're working on, measure to around 80 feet wide.

Do you know which one had the most number of lights, what's the most you've put on?

I think this will be the tableau with the most lights on because there'll be 13,300.

Is that the most lights ever on a tableau?

PHIL: On a tableau.

Gets to next January, we start looking at bringing everything in.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

The whole process starts all over again.

So you're just constantly doing something.

Keep painting.

PHIL: Keep painting.

OK. OK. We've got a lot to do.

OK. VO: Good stuff.

Now, where have Tez and Roo gotten to?

TEZ: Oh, hello.

MICHEAL: Hello.

TEZ: Lighting up my heart.

MICHEAL: (LAUGHS) Lighting up your heart.

He's smooth, isn't he?

VO: Micheal Ellis is Mr Fix-It from the tech department.

Can I ask, are all of these lamps put in by hand across the whole of the illuminations?

Yes, all by hand.

The guys here will do probably hundreds an hour.

VO: The cable and wiring for the lights stretch for more than 200 miles.

I kind of want Britain to know actually how much work goes into this, because I didn't realize.

MICHEAL: Yeah.

Yeah.

At its peak it had about 140 people working for the illuminations.

We're down below 30 now.

VO: With over one million lamps being used across the display, sustainability is key.

Most of our power comes from renewable energy.

We're actually about now 95% more efficient than we were.

That's impressive.

VO: By switching to LED technology, Blackpool Illuminations have slashed the use of electricity by two thirds in 10 years.

We're aiming to have zero carbon emissions, hopefully in the near future.

Can I leave it with you?

ROO: (GASPS) Ooh.

MICHEAL: Take care.

The power.

You're giving us the power?

MICHEAL: Absolutely.

Thank you.

Mike, it's in good hands.

ROO: Come on.

Chop, chop.

100 an hour.

I thought you'd... ROO: Come on.

Every second counts.

VO: Now for Eshaan and Charles.

Oh, here they are.

ESHAAN: Look at this.

It's so beautiful.

This is the switch they use to switch on the lights.

No way.

And what year?

ESHAAN: 1934.

CHARLES: Wow.

The original.

The very first one.

Nearly finished the heart.

Would you do me the honor of switching the lights on?

It'd be a pleasure.

CHARLES: You hold it.

Ready?

ESHAAN: You got it.

CHARLES: OK. ESHAAN: Three, two, one.

Oh, wow.

Mashallah.

That's beautiful.

ROO: Wow.

CHARLES: What's that noise?

ESHAAN: Where's that?

Who is that?

Shall we go and check it out?

Let's go.

Was that someone shouting at us?

ESHAAN: Yeah, I think it was Roo.

Let's go.

CHARLES: Oh, wow!

ROO: We did this.

TEZ: How nice is this?

CHARLES: Yeah.

ROO: We did!

ESHAAN: No, because...

I see, the love.

..we got the lever down up there.

TEZ: What?

CHARLES: We did.

It was us.

ROO: No, guys... ESHAAN: (LAUGHS) Let's go get some ice cream.

VO: For nearly 150 years, the greatest free light show on Earth has dazzled as a beacon of enchantment.

The spark that was ignited in 1879 has ensured the town of Blackpool continues to shine like no other.

Tez and Roo are back on the road.

ROO: We do have a shared heritage.

Yep.

ROO: You're British-Pakistani Muslim?

Yep.

So tell me, growing up in the Asian community, we didn't do antiques.

I don't know when your family came over, but my granddad came in the '60s.

And when he came here, he had nothing apart from the clothes on his back and probably a little suitcase.

Same here.

So you didn't have any antiques.

ROO: Yeah.

Erm... And I guess over time he had bought himself some stuff.

TEZ: And then... ROO: Absolutely.

TEZ: ..maybe there were valuable items in the household that they didn't recognize.

Exactly.

VO: They've nipped along to the city of Preston.

We're here.

This looks big.

VO: It certainly does.

Let's get inside and have a good old nosey.

Preston Antique Centre is housed in the city's last large cotton mill.

Just take a look around this supersized emporium.

For this last foray of shopping, Tez and Roo have the sum of £100.

En garde, you scoundrel.

Yeah.

You're scared, aren't you?

VO: Little bit.

That's what I thought.

VO: While Tez practices his balletic lunges, take a look outside.

ESHAAN: Told you!

They're here!

VO: They've made it.

ESHAAN: We should go and get something.

Hurry up.

This is your fault that we're late.

VO: Blimey, Chaz.

CHARLES: Thank you.

VO: No time for argy bargy.

Let's get lost in a sea of antiques.

The fellas have £191 left.

Love a bit of cricket.

ESHAAN: I think we ought to go for something that is classically... CHARLES: Inspired.

ESHAAN: ..inspired.

CHARLES: Which has a history.

ESHAAN: Yes.

Which tells a story.

Absolutely.

CHARLES: And we're part of it in our small life we lead.

ESHAAN: In this little speck of dust that we are.

CHARLES: Yeah.

Antiques live on.

You and I come and go.

Yeah, but our legend lives on.

Exactly.

The legend of Hanson and Akbar.

CHARLES: Exactly.

ESHAAN: Obviously... ESHAAN: (SNEEZES) CHARLES: Bless you.

Bless you.

That's all the dust.

CHARLES: That's antique dust telling you it's true.

ESHAAN: Ugh!

CHARLES: We are gonna live on.

VO: Indeed.

TEZ: This... Phwoar.

Hey!

VO: Wow.

TEZ: Oh, man.

There's some really cool stuff here, like, look at all this.

Look at all that stuff in there.

This is actually really fun to wear.

TEZ: Is it nice?

ESHAAN: Yeah.

The weight.

It actually weirdly suits you.

Yeah, it feels really good.

Is it like getting a head massage?

ESHAAN: Yeah, it is.

It feels really great.

Yeah, it feels like...

I feel quite, like, strong and powerful.

VO: You look it.

Alright, you keep playing with your... ESHAAN: Yeah.

Yeah.

TEZ: ..metal beard.

And I'll...I'll see you in a bit.

ESHAAN: See you in a bit.

Tell you what, there's a bit of a design flaw because...it's quite hard to take a phone call in this.

Hello?

What do you mean all you can hear is crackling?

Hello?

VO: Just get a hands-free kit - and it does suit you.

Let's tag along with Tez.

ROO: Now, these are Fedoskino Russian lacquer boxes.

Now, they don't have a huge amount of age to them, these ones, but the actual school of miniature painting was from the 18th century in Russia.

And it's the Fedoskino style.

See how tiny that painting is?

VO: The village of Fedoskino is Russia's oldest center of lacquer miniature painting.

The secrets of this age-old craft have been passed from generation to generation for over two centuries.

ROO: Do you like them, first of all?

TEZ: I do, I like them a lot.

So, I mean, these are dated.

Yeah.

This says 1993 on it.

ROO: Yeah.

So, these are the last 30 years.

TEZ: Last 30 years, yeah.

But it's the artwork that people are buying.

TEZ: Sure.

ROO: And if you were to look online, these probably would be selling for £100, £150, £200.

TEZ: Each?

ROO: Yeah.

ROO: It's not the box you're buying, it's the painting.

Sure, it's the painting.

So it's the techniques they've learnt.

But I don't know, it's 95.

You'd really want to get them for 50.

VO: Tez has exactly £100 left.

Martin's the man to talk moolah with.

The pair of pillboxes.

Could they be round about the 50, 55?

I tell you what I'll do, I'll do them for 60.

ROO: Yeah?

TEZ: Yeah, yeah.

ROO: £60.

Done deal.

TEZ: For the pair.

MARTIN: Thank you.

ROO: Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Alright, let's give you some moolah.

VO: That shiny little deal means Tez and Roo have just £40 remaining.

Now, where's the other pair?

I think this is a wooden mazer bowl, and I think it probably is 18th century, and these are quite popular, shall we say, in kitchens for fruit.

ESHAAN: Mm-hm.

Today they're used in that sort of rustic home.

ESHAAN: Mm-hm.

And I just think it's really dry.

I think it's pine or a soft wood, like a fruit wood, and I think it would date to around 1760.

OK. And if we just...just buff it up a bit, because here, look, I've got some wax.

VO: This is a bowl for mixing humble ingredients, like dough.

Whoopsie.

So, what we can do is, you watch this - we just buff it up.

VO: Charles has asked permission to do this.

We give that a really good buff... ESHAAN: Oh, yeah, look at that!

CHARLES: I think this is a guaranteed profit.

Lots of buyers love these early mazer bowls.

To me, where it's here, it's quite sleepy... Yeah.

..and I think it is quite humble.

How much would you be looking to get for this at auction?

CHARLES: £40, £50, £60.

ESHAAN: Really?

Yeah, seriously.

VO: It's priced at £18.

ESHAAN: Listen, this is testament to our friendship that it will stay strong as this bowl has done... You know, it's a dough bowl... ..since 1770, that I can trust you enough... Yeah.

Yeah.

..to say let's go for it.

CHARLES: I think there's dough in it.

Do you think there's dough in it?

I think there's some dough in it.

And if there's no dough in it...

I'll give up my career.

VO: Bold statement, Chaz.

ESHAAN: Martin, hello.

VO: The boys have just under 200 smackers left.

Stand by, Martin.

What's the absolute best price?

The best price on this?

Oh, we're gonna say...15 quid.

£15 I think is well worth doing.

Thank you.

MARTIN: You're welcome.

CHARLES: Yeah.

ESHAAN: I've got some cash for you.

CHARLES: So, we owe you £15.

What I'll do, I'll swap it for that.

ESHAAN: Fantastic.

MARTIN: You can have that back.

Well, thank you very much indeed.

I think that's a deal well done.

I think it's a deal very, very well done.

And the smell of it just gives me...hope.

VO: That's the final buy of the trip, and the fellas have £176 left.

The shopping is now finito.

TEZ: Right, shall we go?

ESHAAN: Let's do it.

ROO: Bye!

TEZ: Bye!

Championes!

VO: It's safe to say we're all at fever pitch.

This is exciting.

How do you think you're gonna celebrate if you do get, like... Because I'm gonna go for some football celebrations, really over the top.

What, if you win this?

ESHAAN: If I sell a lot.

Slow-mo running.

TEZ: Through the aisle of the auction.

Slow-mo running through the... Slo-o-o-o-ow!

VO: Look forward to it.

Time for some shuteye.

VO: You'll never guess - it's only auction day.

And on their way are our rabble-rousing comedians.

ESHAAN: I've never really been to an auction before.

I'm trying to think, like...

I think the only time I've been at an auction, are, like, at events that we're at, like, perform at.

ESHAAN: Perform at.

Yeah.

Then they're auctioning whatever charity memorabilia.

Yeah.

But you don't get an auctioneer's... (MIMICS AUCTIONEER PATTER) Yeah, never been to one of them.

VO: Very shortly you will be.

After a geared up gallivant around Lancashire, we take to the stage for our final curtain call in Rosewell in Midlothian... ..home to Thomson Roddick, where Charles and Roo await their new friends' arrival.

ROO: Look at you two!

ESHAAN: Nice to see you!

CHARLES: Wingman!

Yes.

Here we are.

ROO: This is it.

TEZ: Nice to see ya.

Moment of truth now, isn't it?

This is it, the auction room awaits.

TEZ: Here we go.

ESHAAN: Let's go.

CHARLES: After you guys.

ESHAAN: You first.

TEZ: Sorry...

Losers first.

Losers first.

ROO: (LAUGHS) CHARLES: Come on!

VO: We're pumped up and ready to go.

The saleroom is packed with bidders, with more on the phone and online.

Room bid at 380... VO: The lady wielding the gavel is Sybelle Thomson.

At 380.

VO: Eshaan spent £224 on five lots, plus the freebie jug find.

Give us your hot tip for today, Sybelle.

This antique bowl, it is so charming.

SYBELLE: It's got a lovely feel, and you actually feel it gives off a history.

If that bowl could speak, just think of what stories it could tell.

VO: I've just been polished.

Ha!

Tez went for it and spent 360 smackers on five lots.

What's your fave, Sybelle?

This is a brilliant collection of apothecary bottles.

SYBELLE: There's so many of them in the lot.

Different colors.

It caught my eye as soon as it came in and I thought, they're really nice.

VO: Promising picks.

Ladies and gents, take your seats.

What makes a good auction house, then?

ROO: Us.

TEZ: Good question.

VO: Modest.

We begin with Eshaan's 1970s games table.

It'll make memories... ESHAAN: And money.

TEZ: ..for someone.

And money.

Hopefully not for you.

ESHAAN: Memories and money.

SYBELLE: 30 bid.

ESHAAN: Yes.

OK. We're gonna move now.

SYBELLE: 32.

CHARLES: Come on!

SYBELLE: 32.

35.

TEZ: That'll do.

CHARLES: Keep going.

ESHAAN: Keep going.

40.

CHARLES: Hello?

TEZ: Not worth it, guys.

SYBELLE: 42.

42.

ESHAAN: Yes.

It's not worth it.

Who can I tempt in the room at £42?

Bang that hammer.

Yes!

VO: Not exactly your best opening gambit, Eshaan.

Checkmate.

VO: It is for Tez, though.

Tez next, with the pair of Fedoskino Russian lacquer pillboxes.

They look really nice pictures.

Wow.

Hand-painted.

And the internet straight in at 20 bid.

Come on, internet.

22.

Beautiful.

25.

28.

30.

ROO: They're works of art.

CHARLES: Well done.

35.

38.

40.

TEZ: OK, they're flying now.

ROO: Absolutely stunning.

42.

This has been good for you.

At £42.

TEZ: (SUCKS TEETH) VO: Wasn't that bad.

Let's keep moving.

You're not... You're not... You're not "Russian" to the bank.

King of the puns.

VO: Your turn now, Eshaan, with the art deco grandmother clock.

ESHAAN: (RAPS) It's gonna go tick tock!

ROO: Alright.

(LAUGHS) CHARLES: Are you impressed?

I genuinely hope no one bids on it after that.

I've got 20 bid.

Well done.

SYBELLE: 22.

CHARLES: Go on.

22.

25.

On the art deco.

25.

We're humble!

And at 28.

28.

And I'm selling it at 28.

Anyone else?

Tick, tock, tick, tock!

At £28.

CHARLES: Sold.

That's OK. ESHAAN: Yes.

VO: Ding dong.

Timely profit.

You two... VO: They're cuckoo.

Let's keep on track with Tez's beloved Hornby train set.

I know it means a lot to you, but when it makes nothing, I will laugh in your face.

SYBELLE: 20 bid.

20 bid.

TEZ: Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no... CHARLES: Is that a profit?

SYBELLE: 22.

ROO: Come on.

SYBELLE: 25.

ROO: It runs beautifully... SYBELLE: 30.

ROO: ..for your kids.

SYBELLE: 32.

ESHAAN: That'll do.

SYBELLE: 35.

CHARLES: It's moving.

35.

On the book at... TEZ: Oh no.

SYBELLE: ..£35.

VO: That one came off the rails a bit, Tez.

CHARLES: Look at his face.

ESHAAN: He's not impressed.

CHARLES: Look at his face.

VO: The very large mirrored jardiniere from Eshaan next.

It's a risk.

It's a big risk.

But it's a fun risk.

£20 to me.

Oh, no.

OK.

Anybody want it for 20?

Yes.

Everybody's bidding.

Come on.

Let's go.

Here we go.

22.

25.

Give it the Highland fling.

28.

30.

ESHAAN: Oh.

CHARLES: Go on, here we go.

35.

Anyone else...

Put it in your garden!

SYBELLE: ..at 35?

38.

38.

£40.

Selling away at 40.

Go and get it.

Go and get it.

ROO: Sell it.

No!

CHARLES: Come on, go get it.

ROO: Sit down, sit down, sit down.

VO: Crumbs.

You know, if you break it, you have to pay for it.

ROO: Hammer down.

SYBELLE: 40.

CHARLES: Here we go.

SYBELLE: 40.

40.

ESHAAN: Look how shiny it is.

CHARLES: Up, up she goes.

TEZ: Do not fall for their tactics.

42.

TEZ: Cheap and desperate is what it is.

We're classier than that.

45.

You can put wine in it at the top!

SYBELLE: 48.

48.

48.

ROO: No!

Get it to 50!

Ahh!

SYBELLE: 50.

CHARLES: Come on!

TEZ: Don't fall for this.

I'm doing my best, you know.

Come on.

I'm bringing the hammer down at £50.

CHARLES: (SIGHS) ROO: (LAUGHS) TEZ: Someone drove that up for no reason.

VO: Positively wild - all that for zero profit.

TEZ: Er, profit?

ESHAAN: It's not all about profit.

What profit you make on it?

It's about taking part.

Oh, is it?

OK. VO: Will our love be like a red, red rose?

It's the Victorian Rabbie Burns print.

CHARLES: Show us.

ROO: Go on, Tez.

Oh, no.

VO: He's at it now.

And I can start straight in at 10 bid.

10 bid.

10 bid.

12.

12.

15.

It's been touched by Tez.

18.

18 in the room now.

It's the excellent portrait.

That's enough.

Best portrait in the world.

Let's go.

Let's keep going.

At £18.

CHARLES: Oh... ROO: Oh, Rabbie!

Rabbie!

VO: Should auld acquaintance be forgot?

It's what you call "bard" luck.

Ha!

That was more exercise than I've done... ROO: Was it heavy?

ESHAAN: You lost, what?

12 quid?

TEZ: ..all summer.

VO: Onwards with the late Victorian metamorphic highchair from Eshaan.

Come on.

We deserve a... We deserve a seat at the table.

It's been a great journey.

SYBELLE: 20 bid.

CHARLES: Come on.

We've got 20.

Lovely.

SYBELLE: 22.

CHARLES: Keep going.

SYBELLE: 25 CHARLES: Come on.

25.

28.

Come on.

Have a baby.

At £28.

CHARLES: Oh, no.

TEZ: Yes!

VO: Tez is so difficult to read, isn't he?

CHARLES: Oh.

ESHAAN: That hurt.

That really hurt.

VO: Dry your eyes, then.

It's the battle of the wooden transformers.

Tez's monk's bench is next.

CHARLES: Good luck.

Good luck.

ROO: That's a beauty, isn't it?

TEZ: Wow, that's nice, that.

CHARLES: Looks great.

I've got 50 bid.

Come on, internet.

55.

60.

Five.

70.

Keep going, keep going, keep going.

80.

Five.

90.

Slow down.

That's enough.

That's enough.

I knew it was unusual.

110.

120.

You've done it, you've done it.

ROO: Yay!

SYBELLE: 130.

130.

140.

CHARLES: Oh, dear.

ESHAAN: Oh, my... SYBELLE: 150.

It's really unusual.

150.

160.

CHARLES: It's not worth that.

ROO: A beauty.

It's not worth that.

At £160.

No!

VO: It's a clear-cut winner.

Lovely profits.

Thank God for the internet.

Oh, yeah.

VO: All you "knead" is "loaf".

Ha!

It's Sybelle's fave, the early dough bowl.

ROO: I think it's a lovely thing.

CHARLES: Really?

ROO: I love the age to it.

CHARLES: That means a lot.

TEZ: I quite like that one.

ROO: I love the repair to it.

ESHAAN: I loved it too.

We're gonna start at 20.

CHARLES: Oh, golly.

SYBELLE: 20 bid.

22.

22.

Keep going.

25.

28.

30.

CHARLES: Keep going.

Keep going.

ESHAAN: 18th century.

CHARLES: Keep going.

SYBELLE: 32.

35.

38.

Lovely age.

Small steps.

Small steps.

42.

45.

There's got to be more.

Put the dough in the bowl.

45.

48.

50.

50.

Dough in the bowl!

50.

50.

Five.

At £55.

Yes.

Thanks, captain.

ROO: Well done.

VO: About time they earned their crust.

I knew I trusted you...

Thank you.

..and we've done very well.

Thanks, brother.

VO: Alchemy ahoy.

Stand by for Tez's collection of apothecary bottles.

I've got a feeling the bidders are gonna..."bottle" it.

CHARLES: Get out of here.

Come on, man.

I'm going to start straight in at 75 bid.

Oh.

80.

Five.

90.

Five.

Slow down.

CHARLES: Slow down.

ROO: Keep going.

TEZ: What's going on?

ROO: Keep going.

SYBELLE: 110.

120.

120.

ROO: Per bottle, that's nothing.

They're moving.

Oh, God.

130.

140.

What is happening?

SYBELLE: 150, 160.

CHARLES: That's enough.

Work your magic, Sybelle.

SYBELLE: 170.

170.

180.

CHARLES: No.

180.

190.

ROO: Such beauties.

CHARLES: No.

SYBELLE: 190.

SYBELLE: 200.

ROO: Yay!

220.

220.

220.

At £220.

TEZ: Yeah!

ROO: Thank you!

TEZ: Whoo!

No!

VO: The giddy heights of profit-dom have been reached.

Well done, Tez.

VO: Brace yourselves, it's the final lot - namely Eshaan's freebie skip find.

When things are just sitting pretty and idle... ESHAAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: ..you pick them up.

ESHAAN: In a skip.

CHARLES: In a skip.

I've a bid straight in, I've 10 bid.

ESHAAN: Yes!

Come on!

CHARLES: Yes!

SYBELLE: 10 bid.

10 bid.

£9 more than it's worth.

Keep going.

Come on.

I'm at 12.

ROO: Oh... CHARLES: Yes.

Keep going.

15.

15.

At £15.

ESHAAN: That's a great find.

CHARLES: Yes!

VO: I've never seen anyone so excited by £15 of profit.

Well done, fellas.

I think we should go out, work out who's won.

It's history.

Cuz the math...

I haven't quite got it.

VO: Eshaan and Charles began with £400.

After all auction costs, they have a concluding figure of £354 and 76 pennies.

There, there, Eshaan.

VO: Tez and Roo also began with £400, and have notched up a sum of £429.50, making them the valiant winners!

A profit of £29.50 will go to Children In Need.

Tez and Roo!

TEZ: Yeah!

Whoo!

CHARLES: Oh, no!

Tez and Roo!

Oh, guys.

Thanks for the journey.

We've loved it.

TEZ: Come on, Eshaan, I'll drive you home.

ROO: Go on, you two!

CHARLES: Take care!

ESHAAN: Thank you very much.

CHARLES: Thank you.

TEZ: Thank you very much.

ROO: See you again, bye.

Good to see you, mister.

I didn't...

I didn't like it.

I didn't like what you did.

ROO: Family forever.

VO: You smashed it, Tez.

Well done.

Commiserations, Eshaan.

I actually think you and I could be the new face of antiquing in the UK.

We could go up and down the country with people who don't know what they're talking about or what they're doing, and go... ESHAAN: That's rubbish, that.

TEZ: ..grab that, mate.

ESHAAN: Yeah.

TEZ: Not that, mate.

ESHAAN: Yeah, I'll do it again.

Awesome.

VO: Farewell, fellas.

We'll miss ya.

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